Saving for survival, is not the same as saving for security.

I'm finally learning the difference after divorce taught me everything.

I didn’t know saving out of fear was different than saving out of stability. Let me unpack this for my own sanity. I now have clarity, to distinguish between the two. One part of me wants to crawl into a corner and cry, while the other part scream “this is temporary” because it is. Some lessons are best learned when you continue to repeat the cycle. Until you break.

Growing up, the goal was just to have enough for gas and groceries. Emergency fund? That was called “borrowing from a cousin.” I wasn’t taught how to build wealth. I was taught how to bounce back, but barely. My family never exposed the dangers of mismanaging money, or the outcomes of unsecured debt.

No wonder, I allowed and repeated the pattern in my marriage. I also seemed to attract the partner who kept quiet about finances. It was a tension that created unhealthy discussions that had become painful. Until Divorce exposed all of it.

Not just the emotional trauma, but the financial survival patterns I didn’t know were keeping me broke. I had no blueprint. Just panic, stress and bills. Just damage control. Just a mind spinning in ‘what ifs’ and ‘I got it’ when I didn’t.

Now? I’m rebuilding.

Not just my heart. My habits. I’m learning what it means to save from a healed place not a terrified one. And I want to talk about it.

Let’s unpack the difference between security and survival, especially as women who’ve been left to pick up pieces. Financial trauma after heartbreak is real, and I’m not gatekeeping the lessons anymore.

Truth is, survival taught me hustle. But healing taught me discernment.

I don’t just want to be safe. I want to be free. I want that for my children too. I’m now moving in a different direction financially. I am happy to see what breaking a cycle looks like for the future of my family. It is hard, it is challenging even depressing at times yet so worth every penny saved!

Let this be your reminder, you are never to old to start somewhere. You are not behind, you are right on time for reinventing your money habits. You have full permission to build better money habits from a place of security no longer survival.

Your future deserves a solid foundation, more than just a backup plan. Let’s rebuild together.