The Real Reason You Suck at This One Co-Parenting Skill. Let’s Fix It.
Before it ruins your relationship with your children
Sis,
That one thing is regulating your nervous system. You’re zapped out every time you have to see your ex for drop-off’s or at events and the whole time your body is tense. I’m not blaming you at all. This is not blame, this is calling out your trigger. It’s him, and his presence that’s still required as long as you have to co-parent.
Nobody teaches you how to co-parent with the same man who turned your world upside down.
You’re not struggling because you’re still in love.
You’re struggling because every exchange feels like a fresh wound and somehow, you’re expected to be nice, polite, agreeable… for the kids.
But here’s the truth:
You can be a GOOD mom and still hate drop-offs.
You can love your kids and still feel sick to your stomach when his name pops up on your phone.
You can be healing and still be triggered as hell when he pretends like he was the victim.
Stop pretending you’re okay when you’re not.
This is hard. And I’m gonna say what most won’t:
Co-parenting doesn’t just require emotional intelligence it requires emotional intelligence.
And most of us are trying to out perform our pain or simply ignore that it even exist.
Let’s fix it:
Tell the truth.
You don’t have to keep faking the peace just to prove you’re “healed.” The truth is sometimes he still gets under your skin. Say that.Stop trying to be the bigger person.
You’re not in competition for sainthood. You’re trying to remain regulated. Show up for your kids, but stop betraying yourself to keep the peace.Protect your nervous system.
Boundaries aren't disrespect. They're protection. If contact is draining you, reduce it. If texts are triggering, use parallel parenting. You’re allowed. You do not have to respond to every video text or pictures of the kids. To add to that a lot of that is him missing your energy, seeking validation and trying to be included in your world and include you in his.Give yourself credit.
You’re raising babies with someone who broke you and still found a way to keep their little hearts safe. You’re not failing. You’re f*cking phenomenal.
Sis, if nobody told you this week:
You’re doing better than you think.
And you don’t “suck” at co-parenting.
You’re just exhausted, triggered, and still being asked to play nice while putting your pieces back together.
And guess what?
That’s valid.
Let’s fix it from the inside, not fake it from the outside.
🕊️ If this spoke to you, leave a comment.
Not to vent, but to remind another mama she isn’t crazy for feeling any or all of this at once.
— Ashley
Her Soft Landing